Category Archives: Untreed Reads

Dave Wilde Reviews 13 Shots Of Noir

13 shots2Over at Goodreads, he says:

‘These are all good stories. “The Tut” begins with the unforgettable line: “After enduring forty-five years of a marriage that was at best, like wading through treacle, Oliver Robinson eventually had enough and smothered his wife with the beige corduroy cushion that he’d accidentally burned with a cigarette two fraught days before.” Wow, what an entire history Brazill packed into that one sentence! The second selection “Anger Management” is another short masterpiece. It is sort of a mood piece, but it is filled with lines like: “I’ve heard it said that eighteen months of sleep deprivation can drive you crazy.” You can honestly open up the book to any point in these thirteen stories and find something of interest, some dark haunting poetic line. “The Friend Catcher” is another short (they are all short) that begins with an amazingly thick line of prose: “The morning after Charlotte killed her father, the air tasted like lead and the sky was gun metal grey.” That’s a whole story right there.
Thirteen little gems packed into a short little book. I enjoyed these little glimpse into the darkness.’

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My NEAR TO THE KNUCKLE novellas are now only 99p each!

TOO MANY CROOKS

Too Many Crooks is a blackly comic Brit Grit romp from the author of Guns Of Brixton and Kill Me Quick! When high-class fence Leslie Hawkins meets Peter Rhatigan in a sleazy London pub, he offers her the chance to get her hands on the Totenkopfring, a legendary piece of World War Two memorabilia. However, after a violent encounter with a member of a biker gang, things soon spiral wildly and dangerously out of control. Meanwhile in Poland, Dr Anna Nowak finds an amnesiac Englishman half-dead in the snow…

A CASE OF NOIR

In snow smothered Warsaw, Luke Case, a boozy English hack with a dark secret, starts a dangerous affair with a gangster’s wife. Case escapes to the sweltering Spanish heat where he meets a colourful cast of characters, including a mysterious torch singer and a former East End villain with a criminal business proposition. While in stormy Toulouse, he encounters a blast from the past that is positively seismic which forces him to return to England and confront his past.

BIG CITY BLUES

London Detective Sergeant Ronnie Burke and Polish cop Jola Lach are on the trail of a serial killer, and New York private eye Solitaire is sent to Spain to track down a missing rich kid. See how their lives intertwine in Big City Blues. British coppers, an American private eye, London gangsters, international spies, and a serial killer known as The Black Crow all collide violently and hilariously in Big City Blues, another fast-moving and funny Brit Grit novella from Paul D. Brazill.

 

And you can still also grab 13 SHOTS OF NOIR and KILL ME QUICK! for less than a quid, too!

#FRIDAY FLASH: EVERYDAY PEOPLE

13 shots2Brendan Burke was a creature of narrow habit and come rain or come shine, come hell or high water, he always ate meat on Fridays, even though, around the time of his seventieth birthday, it had begun to play havoc with his digestion.
‘Rebellion,’ said Brendan to Tony Amerigo. ‘Rebellion against the shackles of my Catholic upbringing.’
‘Power to the people,’ said Tony, raising a clenched fist.
Tony had been a butcher since leaving school, as were his father and grandfather, but business hadn’t been so good since the influx of supermarkets selling cut price cuts of meat. Curmudgeons like Brendan were a godsend for Tony.
Brendan put the meat in his tartan shopping bag and headed off.
‘Post office, next?’ said Tony.
‘As per usual,’ said Brendan. The social services kept trying to convince him to have his pension paid into the bank but Brendan had dug his heels in, stuck to his guns. He hated banks and enjoyed his trips to the post office, the centre of the local tittle tattle. ‘And then I’m off to the naval club, though I still don’t know if I’m an inny or an outty’.
He chuckled to himself and was still chuckling when a lime-coloured scooter jumped a light and knocked him arse over tit.

* * *

‘Jeezus, don’t send for her!’ said Brendan. Skye, the featherlight social worker that hovered over him – looking like a delicate flower next to the mountain of a man-  had suggested phoning his daughter, Sue, who lived in London and getting her to come and take care of him for a while. He’d barely been in the hospital a week, discharging himself after complaining about missing two drinking sessions at the club.
‘She’s worse than her bloody mother was for fussin’ and fannying around,’said Brendan.
‘Well, you do need a carer, Mr B,’ said Sky.
Brendan shook his head as he looked at her. She was sparkling and fresh, from somewhere down south – home counties, maybe. How could she possibly  have a clue about anything?
‘Do you know anyone?’ she asked.
Brendan just stared at her nose stud with disgust.

* * *

Barry Sweet had ducked into his flat as soon as he saw the social worker enter the building. He’d seen her before in the record shop where he hung around. She’d bought a Janis Ian CD and had tried to made conversation about it but it wasn’t exactly his cup of cocoa. Neither was small talk.

Barry was a bit off a mouse, who kept himself to himself, although it would have surprised most people to know that he loved to listen Sly Stone, Bootsy Collins and Funkadelic. These were what blew his skirt up. Along with taxidermy – his flat was cluttered with pigeons,rats, even a leathery black bat -collecting funk on vinyl was the centre of his life.
When Brendan moved into the flat opposite, Barry was a bit worried that the old man would complain about the noise but after talking to him a couple of times he relaxed . Brendan was as deaf as a post.
He was listing to Sly Stone and changing into his ASDA uniform when he heard the scream and the bang. He stuck his head out of the door and saw that Brendan’s door was was open. And then he heard coughing, choking.
‘Are you alright Mr Burke?’ he said. No reply.
He went to Burke’s door and knocked.
‘Mr Burke?’ said Barry, louder this time. He went into the flat and saw Brendan doubled over and red faced.Barry  ran towards him.
‘Are you alright?’
Brendan looked up with tears in his eyes. Tears of laughter.
‘Sorry … Sorry, Sweety,’ said Brendan. Barry blushed. He hated that nickname.
‘Couldn’t resist.’ He wheezed. ‘I just wanted her to piss off, so…’ he coughed. ‘So, I grabbed her knockers. The stuck up little cow soon scarpered then.’
‘So, you’re okay,’ said a blushing Barry.
‘Aye,’ said Brendan. ‘Do us a favour and pass us that bottle of vodka from the mantelpiece and get two glasses from the kitchenette.
Barry wasn’t much of a drinker but he thought needed to calm down before heading off to work.
He poured the drinks.
‘A toast,’ said Brendan.
‘Na zdrowia, as Polish Andy used to say. To your health.’
Brendan downed the vodka in one and Barry did the same but it burned like molten lava.

* * *

After a week or two it was decided that Barry would be Brendan’s carer. He’d do the shopping, cash his pension and pop in now and again to keep an eye on him.
Barry started to like drinking with Brendan and the carers’ allowance that he received meant that he could give up his job at  ASDA. In fact all was tickety boo until November.

* * *

Tony Amerigo’s voice had been like a dripping tap to Barry and the woman at the Post office was even worse. Still, he endured the shopping trip and managed to pop in to the record shop before lunchtime to buy Parliament’s ‘Up for the down Stroke.’
‘Pricey stuff this,’ said John, the owner of the shop. ‘Been saving up your pennies, Sweety?’
Barry ignored him and headed back home.

* * *

‘The Post Office was packed again,’ said Barry to Brendan, as he put the shopping bags on the orange, plastic, formica table.
Brendan said nothing, of course. He’d said nothing since he’d broken his neck falling out of the bath on Bonfire Night. Barry still liked these evenings, though. Steak, vodka and a bit of Bootsy playing in the background. He glanced over at Brendan’s massive body  as he unpacked the rest of the shopping and thought that he really should have bought some more formaldehyde.

(EVERYDAY PEOPLE first appeared online at A TWIST OF NOIR and is included in my flash fiction collection 13 SHOTS OF NOIR.)

J J Toner Reviews 13 Shots Of Noir

13 shots2Over at Amazon.co.uk, author JJ Toner says:

5.0 out of 5 starsA master of the noir genre.

I read these stories a year ago. I loved them all. Paul’s writing is to die for. I thought I wrote a review at the time, but can’t find it, now. A rare find, a kick-ass collection of noir stories told by a master of the genre. Highly recommended. Five stars. JJ Toner.’

13 Shots Of Noir only 69c!

Out Now: 13 Shots Of Noir by Paul D BrazillAs part of UNTREED READS‘ Halloween sale,  my flash fiction collection  13 SHOTS OF NOIR is only 69c for the next couple of days.

Grab it here.

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