CLIP: GUNS OF BRIXTON BY PAUL D. BRAZILL

gob‘Right annoying fucker though, that Half-Pint Harry. Eh, Kenny? Non-stop motor mouth, he was. Gob-shite Geordie twat,’ said Big Jim as they put the body in the Jaguar’s boot and slammed the lid shut.

‘He wasn’t a Geordie,’ said Kenny, resting on a barrel and wiping the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve.

‘Eh?’ said Big Jim, as he took the hose pipe and sprayed water around the garage.

 Kenny grinned.

 ‘Half-Pint Harry. He wasn’t a Geordie, was he? He wasn’t from Newcastle. He was from Sunderland, James. He was a Mackem, wasn’t he?’ Kenny said.

‘What’s a fucking Mackem when it’s at home?’ said Big Jim.

‘A Mackem is to a Geordie what a Canadian is like to an American. Like margarine to butter. Like Spurs to Arsenal. A bit like a decaffeinated Geordie,’ said Kenny, chuckling to himself. He coughed up a lump of phlegm, spat and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

‘The North’s all the fucking same to me,’ said Big Jim. ‘Never been further north than Dagenham, myself. And I didn’t like that much.’

 ‘I wholeheartedly agree,’ said Kenny. ‘Mushy peas, black pudding, Pease -pudding, fishy-wishy-fucking-dishy. I usually start to hear the banjos from Deliverance as soon as I get north of Finchley.’

Guns Of Brixton (published by Caffeine Nights Publishing) is out NOW as a paperback and as an eBook.  You can get it from from loads of places including Barnes & Noble,  Caffeine Nights PublishingWHSMITH, Waterstones,Foyles Amazon and Amazon UK. 

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